Well, I've been deliberating over this for some weeks and finally I realised I can't go on like this anymore......and something's gotta give.
I have been trying to do too many things for too long now, and I have to admit I am neither doing any of them particularly well, nor am I finishing or committing to any one task particularly well. Whether that be unpacking, editing our stuff, decorating our house, finishing the boring bits of the house, parenting, being a good wife, blogging, researching business ideas, getting sleep, eating well and the list goes on.....I'm all over the place!
On top of which I have been trying to keep all these balls in the air for months now, and it has been particularly challenging because I'M PREGNANT!
That's right - you read correctly. I am now 18 weeks and counting, with new bub due in July. It was all a bit of a surprise, although not entirely unplanned I have to admit. So it has been a pretty exhausting, stressful, worrying, difficult, trying, exhausting (did I mention that!) past four months, especially as I was trying to finish the house in the first trimester leading up to Christmas, and believe me, I don't do first trimesters very well. Think extreme tiredness, extreme moodiness, extreme morning sickness, extreme irritability, extreme tendency to get fed up and over everything really quickly! Add to the mix the fact that I'm 42, have two little kids already and a house that everyone is expecting to look fabulous and you have a recipe for a nervous breakdown!
So, while I did have grand plans for 2012 and new online homewares/design business plus growing my blog, and tackling all those holes in the market I've discovered while renovating, I now don't really know how it's all going to play out. I have to admit it's tempting to chuck it all in and forget about blogland and just focus on being a wife and mother! But I don't think I could - I do need a creative outlet and I enjoy the interaction and camaraderie.
I really enjoy blogging, especially getting your feedback, but I do find the pressure quite stressful and the expectation I have on myself to deliver a great blog/post to you as often as possible, makes it something that takes up a lot of my day and a huge amount of my thought and energy.
I probably spend 3-4 hours a day at my computer writing my own posts and reading then commenting on about 50 others. That doesn't leave much time for anything else. I have about 350 blog posts sitting in my inbox I haven't managed to catch up on and the stress of reading them daily and trying to whittle down that number is intense. My heart races and pounds as I rush through each blog post and try to comment when I can, watching the clock as it races towards 3 o'clock pickup. Then I realise I haven't chosen a rug for the floor, or phoned the electrician or picked a lamp or a fabric, bought anything for dinner, fed the kids or done any of the hundred things that are still waiting in this house. And the kids are into their fourth hour of crap TV.
Finally, my poor husband is getting pretty annoyed the house isn't getting any closer to being finished - and he just wants to hang a bloody picture!
So, I'm going to pull back and I really have to put the house/family first. I will thus be posting less often for the next while, and I'm going to be less present on other blogs as well, commenting less regularly too. Until I get this house finished and get ready for this baby, I just can't do everything. I'm not going completely, just wanted to warn you I won't be around every day. Then hopefully I'll be able to show you a completed house before too long and something I can be proud of.
But in the meantime.........
Annsley Interiors - I was introduced to this stunning interior designer today by Nursery Notations blog. When I checked out their portfolio I found so many stunning rooms I thought you'd like to see some. I have soooo much blue and white in this house, I'm almost tired of it! Can't believe I said that. So I am looking to introduce some colour and love this green.
All images from Annsley Interiors
See you soon.